Day 25

The weather is back in the 70's! Thank goodness. I am DONE with that 90 degree nonsense. I am not a summer person. I'm sitting here like, BRING ON OCTOBER! lol. 

Finally though, that means I can be comfortable in my leggings and jeans again. (And dresses!) Heck, I'll just be comfortable. Which ya know, comfort is the name of my game!

I look at it this way. If we have to wear clothes, why suffer? Why do we go through this whole "I must have an amazing flat stomach and a great bra" nonsense. Well ladies, here's the thing. 

YOU DON'T. 

The whole bra fiasco I just went through with the bra tearing my skin off, (Oh, which by the way, I will be posting resolution about that as soon as I hear back from them the second time...) made me realize that my comfortable, non underwire bras are just as good as any others and that I do NOT need to torture myself every day with this underwire nonsense. I'm a 44 DD so don't give me that "I need underwire or they sink" nonsense, cuz GIRL, OF COURSE THEY SINK, IT'S CALLED GRAVITY! 

Bonus points if you know the movie this gif is from. :)

But you can get some decent ones that aren't underwire too. Granted, they're not going to work as well, but why do we need it to? It's just basically there to prevent boob sweat from bugging us, right? Heck, go without a bra if you want to! Even if you're a bigger girl! I don't think I'd go completely bra-less just for the sole reason that I hate boob sweat. 

It's got me thinking though. Why do we do this? Why do we try to make our stomachs flatter than they are? I mean, once in a while for a fancy party or something, sure. We all want to put in the extra hour and look fabulous on occasion. But daily? I know there are some of y'all wearing those spanx daily! And wearing uncomfortable bras because they should be replaced about every 6 months and at LEAST $30 a pop (haha, mine are closer to $60-$80) that's not happening. It's expensive. So we wear them to the ground and then get wires poking everywhere and are uncomfortable all day.

I'm telling you right now to STOP IT. You look beautiful the way you are, imperfections and all! Embrace that stomach. It likes tacos! ( And maybe has had kids too!) It's OKAY to have a tummy. Supermodels have a stomach when they sit down too! We're giving our daughters (and sons) unrealistic expectations of what a body looks like. We see it as imperfect, so then they see theirs as imperfect. Our sons see our complaints, and then get girlfriends and point out those complaints to their girlfriends, because that's what their mom did. We've normalize hating our bodies! We're telling our daughters that bras are an uncomfortable reality we deal with to look good, and that stomachs aren't normal. But WHY? Because society tells us so? And that's good enough of a reason?!?!?

Have you ever been to the art museum and seen the pictures of the women who were pale and naked and laying on their chaise lounges/beds? They weren't thin things with no stomachs. (NOT trashing thin women. There are plenty of naturally thin women out there too!) However, the thing is, women weren't desirable as THIN until the 1966. It was called "The Twiggy Phenomenon". Before that, the most desirable women had curves. Just look at our art history of paintings: 

Francais: La Venus d'Urbino

Stomach pooch.

 (Also, WHAT is going on in the background? Why does that kid have her head in a  chest? And why is that lady rolling her sleeve up like, "Kid you're gonna get it if you don't put your toys away?" Do you think that was SUPPOSED to have gone into the painting? lol!)

The Three Graces by Rubens, Peter Paul

Do you see all that implied cellulite? Muscles AND side rolls? Whhaaaaat??? Stomachs! BUTTS!

Nude From The Back by Pierre-Auguste Renoir

This one shows back rolls and a stomach and THIGHS! She's a big girl! *gasp*

Venus and the Lute Player: Tiziano Vecellio

Titan showed that women have rolls too! And this is supposed to be Venus - the Goddess of Love.

Woman with a Parrot by Gustave Courbet

This one even shows that womens boobs fall over and spread apart when we lay down. *gasps*

And this one from Bosch shows back rolls and a stomach too!! 

(Also science is proving that women had perky boobs back then because they didn't wear bras.) 

Now I don't want to discredit those of us who are lucky enough to be born naturally thin at a time when it's desirable either. In the 1900's, it was an hourglass shape and women twisted themselves into corsets. In Ancient Rome, it was all about being pale and fat, because it showed by being pale that you could afford other people to work for you, and that by being fat, you could afford fine foods to become fat on. (That mentality stayed around for quite some time...which explains why 1700's fashions had all that extra padding in the hips, even for the poor women!) Shiny hair was desirable as it meant women were healthy, so women would put oil into their hair and comb it to look shiny. (We're STILL doing that one!). 

The list goes on and on and on, how we twist an manipulate ourselves to look better, be more desirable. These days it's underwire bras and spanx. Longer eyelashes (to the point where we are putting FIBER in our mascara to make them longer and fuller, that CANNOT be good for your eyes ladies!), lip plumper for "kissable lips", eyelash, skin and lip primers, stuff to keep it on longer and "stay put" so you can continue to look like perfect paintings or dolls. You know what? If a man wants a doll or a painting, I'll buy him one. I'm going to continue to be me. If I want to wear make up for myself, I will. But I don't need it to be desirable! And neither do you!

I have an idea. A challenge of sorts. You know - what the heck - why not? We'll do a challenge. I challenge each and every one of you reading this right now to give up something society tells you is necessary for a day. Or a week even! Go to work without make up. Go to work without a bra. *GASP* (or at least without an underwire bra.) Don't work out this week. Don't cook meals. Don't clean. Don't be a dutiful wife because your husband thinks you should. And if you're one of the guys? Don't take out the trash this week. Let her do it. Don't shave your face. Tell people you're trying new skincare. Heck, TRY new skincare if you want to. Defy all of that societal that BS, because IT IS BS!! While I am focusing more on the women, men have a HUGE pressure to be a certain "mold" too. (My husband and I have discussed that at length. Men get sh*t on too. Maybe I'll go into that another time.) 

We have got to stop this seeking perfection. Perfection doesn't exist and it's just hurting our psyches, individually, collectively as women and collectively as a human race. MEN are seeing women do this. What kind of image is that giving our boys? That their future wives need to be "perfect" too?

 You know what's perfect? You are. Right now. Without ANY of that stuff. 

Read that again. 

Phew. I really needed to get that out. Fashion is about what's trending - sure. But it's also about helping you express yourself, your identity and above all in my world - COMFORT!

Now....onto what I'm wearing today.

Dress from Amazon (forever ago, so no link, I'm sorry!) Jewelry from Amrita Singh and shoes from Tieks! We finally got a break in the heat, and I'm going to enjoy the heck out of it. Not as muggy, not as hot and I'm going to go to Costco! Woot!

This very comfortable 100% rayon dress I bought off of Amazon about 4 years ago. It's one of my favorite summer dresses and I always get A TON of compliments on it. It has the exact same back as the front, so no matter which way you put it on, it's right! (I mean, what's not to love about that!?) It's got so many colors and a beautiful patterning to it. 

You can wear it with so many tieks! I see MB, Sapphire, Mustard, Biscotti, Chocolate Brown, Cream, and what I chose today - Tieks Blue!  

I honestly went with TB because of this beautiful bib necklace from Amrita Singh. Oh and look, my hair is down AND brushed. OMG! Still no make up though. LOL! 

In other news, yesterday Chloe and I went to the doctor and we (FINALLY) were able to convince her to do the shot to get rid of the wart and not the freezing. *HALLELULAJAH* 

So those suckers should clear up in 1-2 shots. We have an appointment next month to see if she'll need a second dose, we're hoping not. She said to me when it was done, "Mom, it hurt less, but I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU!" lol. It's like she knows I'd have said, "I told you so" or something!! Instead I said, "Well, you should have known that I was right. I always am." To which, I got glared at. hehe.

Hopefully this will be the end of all things warty. Goodbye warts. We won't miss you.

Oh, and Mr. Soba is still in "nap mode" after eating, (You can still see his bump of a mouse digesting in there if you know what to look for. LOL) but he says hello. :)