Day 24

So hey. I've got A LOT of clothing apparently. I honestly didn't realize I had this many clothes. Now that I'm putting together outfits, I realize I haven't repeated myself yet (leggings aside). Which is kind of odd. I guess I have more than I thought I did! I DO think I'm hitting the home stretch of summer clothing though, so we'll probably start repeating here shortly. (I know I've only got 3 dresses left that I haven't worn in the summer clothes, but I DO have plenty of shirts left. So we'll see!) 

It reminds me how fortunate I am to have what I have. I look back at the times I struggled and knew what it was like to sew up the holes in my clothing in the least noticeable way, or patch jeans and darn socks (a lost art!). I'm so lucky to be where I am today. And it's honestly sheer, dumb luck. 

I hope that it helps anyone who is down on their luck, who is in a difficult position, who might be living in that dark shadowy place; to know that your luck can change at the snap of a finger. All it takes is ONE thing. One tiny change can be the precursor to the biggest, most massive change in your entire life. You never know who you might meet, what you might say, or how you view something that changes your entire life, *snap* just like that. 

I think for me, it started out with positivity. I used to be really negative. No! I DID! I called it realism, but it wasn't. I was negative. I trash talked happy people, people who dressed how they wanted to, people who had confidence to get out there and do their thing. I was a mean girl. 

It's hard to believe now, but I WAS! I started to slowly change that mentality one day. I was unhappy and I realized that my inner self was in turmoil. I wasn't at peace. So I said, well, what can I change to be more peaceful? Well, I could be kind. Maybe I can try to do one nice thing a day. I'll compliment one person a day...and it ended up starting out online. 

I went online and I found something pretty someone made and I told them how I thought it was beautiful. It felt good. It made me want to do it again. I didn't, but it made me WANT to. So the next day, I did one kind thing again. I complimented a lady at Wal-Mart on her shirt, sticking to my "baby steps". At some point, I ended up telling people online, in stores, at a doctor's office something nice. It was a genuine compliment - always - no point in doing it if it's fake, and it got to a point where I'd pick a person in every single place I went and complimented them. Now I just do it automatically. I look at every person I see and find one thing I like. And there's something in EVERYONE. I can look at a  bunch of people, adults, kids, men, women, etc, and I look at them and I think, "I love his hair!, and her purse! and gosh, her shoes are adorable! He smells good. I wonder what cologne that is? He picked it well for his body chemistry." *Weird, but true* lol. People look at me weird, sometimes, but I'll do it in groups of people. It's interesting how they ALL smile. Maybe puzzled, but there's always a smile. And then they get to talking, about each other. And finding compliments for everyone that's there. Suddenly everyone is chatting it up like we're all BFF's. 

I think being positive changes who we are more than we realize. As soon as you start doing positive actions, you change the way you look at the world. You change the way you behave. It makes you a better person, makes you more understanding, and makes not just YOU better, it makes THEM better. They're happier INSTANTLY. And maybe they spread that happy to someone else! 

So today's outfit is inspired by doing those things. Be positive, spread happy. Do good things! 

Ahh, good things. :) Wal-Mart flower earrings that were part of the necklace set and my wedding bands are my only jewelry today, and even the earrings I took out early on, as I think my ears need a rest day, which is sad, cuz they give the look completeness. Oh well. 

These are them. :) 

Shirt is Torrid, leggings are so old the label is worn off, but I think they're also Torrid (lace bottoms still with no holes, so WOOT for that). Ballet Pink Tieks to finish the look. :)

And....oh oh! Look at my first Cricut project!! ^_^

I LOVE IT! <3  It's gonna be a laptop decal for my computer. :D It took me forever to figure out how to use this thing, but it's mostly cuz I'm a derp. I was at it for TWO BLOODY HOURS last night. Ugh. lol. 

Bonus pic: 

Me, not quite ready for my camera's countdown. Darn it. lol. 

Day 23

Short and sweet today (well, we'll see. I might decide to amend like I did yesterday. HAHA!).

Sometimes you gotta just have fun. Today we celebrate fun with a bit of madness and strange. It's time for Alice in Wonderland. <3 Alice has been a favorite of mine, but more as an adult than as a child. As a kid, I never really got the whole story. I knew it was supposed to be fun, but it was also scary to me as a little one. As an adult, I really get it more; and sometimes a little chaos, madness and fun will help you overcome the bad times. 

Shirt from Amazon, Luluroe leggings (for some reason, these fit the best out of ALL my TC2's). Tieks Love Potions (limited edition, so sorry, no link on those bad boys) and earrings by Amrita. 

One day, I'll get to Disney World (Or Disney Land, I'm not picky) and see all the fun stuff! Probably Disney World cuz it's closer to me. I'm ok with that, because that means I can pop into Universal too and do Harry Potter! 

Nothing made me wish I had Cotton Candy or Fuchsia Tieks more than this ensemble. Oh well. I paired them with Love Potions, because they have that gorgeous blue/silver/pink mix and that peacocking. Oh how I love it! 

Stripe to stripe! 

I mean, c'mon, who does love LP's? I have no idea why these look so weird - all my tieks do when I take a picture, but the second I don't, they even out and look like I have normal feet again. Ugh.

Earrings are the new ones from Amrita - the raffia tassels. These make all kinds of noise, so I'm going to have to figure out a way to deal with that when I wear them, as it drove me nuts enough I had to take them out already. I wore them for about five minutes. I don't think they'd bother me at all if I were out and about in a loud place with a lot of talking, but just wearing them in my quiet living room? Nope. They had to go. 

Bloopers.
Ah, yes, my messy messy ponytail. Ugh. I should probably actually brush my hair today. LOL.  

Hi, My name is Beka and I can't balance worth a damn when standing in a normal person pose, so I fell backwards and has to grab the pillar right as the camera took the pic. I'm starting to laugh at myself for falling. LOL. 

Day 22.5

Ok guys, time to address some things. 

I'm still a little bit addled about the whole "snake situation", as today I got a lot of support from people in the group, but yesterday got a lot of complaints. I'm just like *whatever* at this point.

Mr. Soba Noodle WILL be in this blog on occasion. I will *attempt* to put him behind a filter for those delicate people who can't just scroll past a picture. I likely won't post him in the tieks group anymore without express permission from the admins. Ok? Ok. Problem solved. He'll be on my "Personal Blog where I can be a Diva" all I want to. Oh yeah, I got called a Diva, a fat girl who likes attention and told that people were only telling me they liked my posts, but I didn't know what they were really thinking. Reported and deleted, but ...Yeah. Okay....Sure.

Also, I cuss/swear! I really do! So that's going to come up at some point too. Let's address it now. 

There. Addressed. Done. 

Yes, I'm nice, but you wanna try me on equality for humans or even animals, you're gonna suffer attack of the gif, my snark and well, my LOVE IS ALL ENCOMPASSING...which means, yes, I even love the assholes. Awww. Fat girl hugs!!!! ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

There, that should keep the haters away. And the rest that keep looking? Well, they're fans. 

Soooo, onto the FASHION! 

BONUS POST #2!

All the BS got addressed, so now it's time for the fun! I got my first box (there's another one on the way) of Amrita jewelry. I completely blame Nevena for this, as she's got a beautiful necklace I wanted and I clicked the link and got it. Aaaaaand then I found some more. heh. 

So here's what I got in the first box! 

By the way, this is all removed from the amazing packaging it came in, but I have no practical way to store it that way, so I took it all out and put it in the poches it came with and such. 

Now I'm going to need to buy a jewelry armoire, because it's such nice jewelry it shouldn't just hide in a drawer and get all tangled up like all my other jewelry. lol. 

Sadly, the first piece was broken. They've been contacted so we'll see if I get a replacement one. 

There's a rhinestone missing/broken. :( 

Raffia "tassel" type earrings. Love these!

BIG POOFS!

These are honestly probably my favorite, and I think my daughter might try to steal them. They're so cute!!

Cute!!!

The darn necklace that started it all...perfect for my neons!!

Love these big studs.

Yes, the top left square does have a blue center, that piece just flipped and I didn't notice. This is gorgeous, but chokes me slightly, so I am going to need to buy a necklace extender for it. 

But yeah, jewelry haul #1. I can't wait to wear some of this! 

Bonus!

OMG I JUST GOT NEW PAJAMAS AND I'M SCREAMING BECAUSE THEY'RE SO STINKING CUTE!!!

Look at them! 

I honestly had to show them off here because they're ADORABLE. 

Close up!

I don't even care that I'm not wearing a bra cuz FOXES!!!!

*dies a swooning death over how cute they are*

Oh and Mr. Soba says THANK YOU for all the snake support. He will, however, be away from the camera for at least two days, as he ate a mouse today and is going to be sleeping it with his head in the aspen for a while.

picture under the read more cut for those sensitive souls who are somehow mysteriously afraid of my sweet snake.

Day 22

Apparently my snake provoked some controversy yesterday when I posted a picture him in the Tieks group. It was relative! He matched my dress. And he's cute! I get that some people are afraid of reptiles. That fear is completely unfounded (in general) and society tells us we should be scared of anything that isn't cute. Plus there's that whole "the devil is a snake" thing. They've got such a bad rep for such amazingly gentle animals. Honestly, I'm way more afraid of dogs than I am of snakes. I know a lot of people that agree with me. 

*sigh* I reposted the picture in the comments section after he was removed, as someone was like, "oh I was looking for your snake in the pictures and didn't see him" And that's when I got attacked by a troll. It was fun. Also, apparently I think I'm the SHIT cuz I have a "fan club". (and WOAH is that giving me WAY more credit than I deserve, and shows that she's OBVIOUSLY threatened by my confidence.) I'm also "promoting obesity" by showing my outfits of the day. Uh huh. Because I haven't heard those 10000 times before. I should stick to my blog and promote my obesity there. 

Got anything new yet?

Nope.

I do genuinely apologize for scaring anyone with him yesterday. It was not my intention. Snakes get discriminated against as much as fat people do, so he and I are in the same boat. It's ok though, I understand. I don't want to scare anyone. 

So yeah, admin contacted, and explained to me why the picture was removed even though it was 100% tieks related and relevant. (Exposure therapy guys! In all seriousness, this is how we overcome fears and how we get better at facing challenges. I did it with my autistic son as a child.) However, I did post a lot of education in that comment section before it was taken down, and I have 7 or so message me and tell me that I helped them overcome their fear a little because my snake looked so sweet. ^_^ So YAY that!!

Not only am I changing the world one fat people picture at a time, I'm changing it one snake picture at a time. lol.

Anywho...

Day Twenty Two!

Today's OOTD is casual. For one reason only. My bra yesterday has those silicone grips on it and when I took it off, it ripped my skin off. 

OW. 

So today I've got sores on my back. And a blister. Seriously. I'm not posting the brand of the bra until I talk to the company and see if they can come to a resolution. Because that shouldn't happen. I'd post pictures, but THAT might offend some people, because it's medical-ish and gross looking, so I won't. 

So yeah. Today's outfit is a comfy cotton bra with neat neck detailing from LB, which shows through a V-cut grey tank top from Old Navy paired with black leggings from Torrid today. My new mustard Tieks complete the look adding a much needed touch of color. 

The back of this shirt has a really cute white crochet at the top.

Also, yes, I'm aware that this is pretty um...showy. (As my 14 year old will say "Your nip-nips are showing!" LOL.) It's a home day, so Shhhh. Today's honestly not as much about fashion, it's about heat evasion and comfort from skin being torn. If I left the house, I'd wear it, but only because of my bra injury making it impossible to wear a "real" bra for probably the next few days until I get proper scabs. Ow. :( 

Heat index of 110 again. Ugh. Staying inside with my AC. 

My Cricut came from Amazon anyway, so I want to play with that today. ^_^ 

...

Also, fan club....*giggles and shakes my head* I'm still honestly laughing over that one. Um. Yeah. A daily post of myself in a closed group that is empowering women of all sizes (Hi, there's like, 5 of us at least who post daily and get a ton of comments) and my blog gets like, 4 hits a day and so far has zero comments. Yup. I'm REALLY popular over here with a HUGE fan club. *SNORT*

As Madonna said: "If you don't like me and you still watch everything I do, bitch, you're a fan!"

Day 21

 

Happy Friday!

So it's 8:54am, and it's already muggy and hot. Heat index for today is 115. Oh my! Staying inside most of today. We have to go out later for my daughter's homeschool assessment with our awesome assessor teacher Miss Colleen, who we have seen since Chloe started homeschooling. She's awesome. She'll look at Chloe's blog, listen to her talk, look at her focuses this year and pass her as long as she's progressing. And she is! So we're good. Chloe's very worried about possibly going back into public school. I'm not even sure I want her to honestly. It's a huddle we'll come across when we move, but for not we're trying not to worry about it. Next topic....

Our bodies.

I've had a lot of my Tieks peeps private message me lately with words of encouragement, sharing their personal stories and just support for doing my outfit of the day and blog. I'm blown away by such a positive response. I really am. I can't express how much I didn't expect this to happen. I have posted places before (instagram, fashion sites, even plus size fashion sites) and gotten trashed for being fat, shamed for having the audacity to be confident in my skin, told I have bad taste, been told that it's great that I'm fat, but "I'm so worried about your health." and "You should lose weight because you can't be healthy" and I have also been flat out bullied "Hey fatass, go work out", "I bet you can't even run", etc. I've never been encouraged like I have in that group and it's <astounding to me> how positive everyone there is. It helps keep me going.

What else keeps me going is other people telling me that I'm helping them be brave enough to go out into the world wearing what they feel like, instead of what society tells them they should. I keep going and do a happy dance every time someone tells me they should love themselves more. I am so there for that!!!!! THAT is why I do what I do, and that is why, if there are ever haters, I will continue to dance all over them, because for every hater, there are 1000 women getting a positive message that says WE ARE ALLOWED TO BE WHO WE ARE!!

I would not be who I am today, having gone through all my struggles and fears, grown into this human being without THIS BODY. This body got me through teenage years when I thought I was fat then. (Um, I was a size 16. Please... I was not as big as I thought I was. I just had a best friend that was a size 4.) Comparing ourselves to others will kill us. It will kill your confidence and your attitude. Stop comparing yourselves. It's toxic. This body is what got me through childbirth. This body left an abusive relationship, and this body found my amazing husband now. This body is perfect. If I want this body to lose weight, it's just another addition (haha - or subtraction) to this body. My body is MINE and I love it for getting me through this life. 

We're ALL beautiful. Our bodies got us through to where we are, and you would not be who or where you are right now without it. So love it. Start with one tiny thing. Love your hair. Love your eye color. Love your nails. Love your dimple. Love the mole on your left leg. Just pick something and love it. Then once you love that, it's easier to love the next thing. (Like, hello, I started with my eyebrows. No joke! They've got a killer shape!) But yeah. Love yourselves. Confidence follows.

Anywho.... 

As it's going to be excessively hot, it's going to be a dress day! I got this from Torrid recently when their dresses were on sale and I spend Haute Cash on it and a few other things. :D It's kind of inbetween a neon green and a neon yellow, but I went with the Tieks unmellow yellows, as I think they're the best choice to go with it. I could pair it with the matte blacks as well, or even add a pop of color with something else, but I went for this combo today.

I added the awesome tassel earrings from amazon that while flimsy, seem to hold up through my wear and tear to complete the look. 

{Picture of me on my porch, in front of the climbing roses, wearing a sleeveless midi snakeskin dress with bright yellow undertones and black snakeskin overlay. Hands on my hips, one foot forward and a smile on my face. I have a ponytail and a cute black scrunchie with a little bow. Unmellow Yellow tieks and tassel earrings complete the look. Picture 2 and 3 are basically the same, arms and legs in slight variations, picture 4 is a close up of my face to see my earrings better, and you can get a better view of the bow.}

Mr. Soba Noodle!!

Day 20

So yesterday, I wore the white pants and got strawberry on them. D'oh. I got the stain out, but I had to change because I was meeting another Tieks Sister - Priti - in Cleveland for Tacos and Rum! So this is what I changed into. :) 

(Haha, I just realized you can see my phone and the jellyfish stand shadow in this picture)

So I went for this outfit. We had a blast, got a free drink by a guy at the table next to us who wanted to get a drink put on the menu, and by all rights IT SHOULD BE THERE cuz it was delicious! 

This wasn't that drink. It was one on the menu, and it was good, but it pales in comparison. 

Anyway, we had tacos, rum, drinks, and went over to Mitchell's for Ice cream. We had a blast and I made a new friend! She was amazing, awesome and fun. It had been so long since I've gone out just for myself, and met someone and hung out and chatted about everything. I had a great time and I hope we can get together again soon! 

So now on to today's OOTD and blog. :D 

Wow, I've been doing this 20 days already? Boy time flies. They say it takes 20 days to form a habit and apparently they're right, because I get up, and one of the very first things I do (aside from groan that it's morning, take my pills, roll over and wait for my second alarm to go off) is think about what I'm going to wear that day. I get dressed and hop onto my porch for pictures. This morning some guy was driving by looking at me taking pictures on my porch cuz I was posing. I stuck my tongue out at him. haha. 

Today's OOTD is casual. I'm hanging out at home, and it's going to be hot, (heat index says 110 today. Ugh.) but not too hot inside because we have AC so I can wear my jeans in peace. Jeans from Lane Bryant, shirt from Torrid, razzleberry shoes by Tieks! 

Yeah, I did the pose.

I chose razzleberry because they match Sailor Moon's bows. ^_^

The shirt is Sailor Moon!! I was OBSESSED with Sailor Moon when I was a teenager. I wanted to be like Sailor Jupiter and she was always my favorite, but good luck finding plus size shirt with her on it. haha. But this anime and show was my happy place growing up. It inspired the very first fanfiction that I ever wrote (I still have that purple notebook. Filled up the entire thing, and honestly re-reading it 15 years later, it's NOT HALF BAD! Maybe I missed my calling to be an author?) But anyway, I get my hands on anything Sailor Moon now, even as a 37 year old adult woman because I still love it. I'm not ashamed to admit I even have Sailor Moon Funko Pop! figurines. 

And yes, I made all kinds of happy noises when they did Sailor Moon Crystal for the 20 year anniversary. It follows the Manga and is SO MUCH BETTER.

The shirt is thinner than I'd normally like, and if it weren't so hot, I'd put a tank under it to hide it's thinness, but oh freaking well. 

Anyway, pictures!

{All pictures have the same backdrop: My Porch. Picture 1: Me being goofy, in the outfit as described above, with one hand on my hip, the other in a peace sign on my forehead in Sailor Moon's classic post after she transforms. Pictures 2-5 much the same, just various poses}

On of the things I loved about Sailor Moon was her nail transformation. I mean, don't we all wish nail polish was that easy!? I got these press on nails from impress online. They were 7 ish bucks. Not too bad. They are supposed to last for a week, but I am HARD on my nails (which is why I usually get acrylics) and so they last for a day or two. Now, if I take off the press on glue and use real nail glue, then they last for like, 2 weeks or so. I usually use the stickies, wait until they fall off and then peel all the sticky off and reapply with nail glue (they toss once those fall off) or I'll peel the sticky and store them until I feel like wearing that color again. They have a new kind I want to try (the 'ultra') and I just ordered some, so we'll see how I like those too. Anyway, here's the ones I put on yesterday. 

They're shimmery mermaid. Obviously I didn't use the glitter nail. I have them stored though.